You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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