Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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