I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She needs sedatives and a leash
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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