North Korea, Best Korea!
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
