i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize