Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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