OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
