Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
