I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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