You work out of a Hotel?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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