And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
