Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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