He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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