I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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