Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
