Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
