how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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