i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize