Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
so much tequila, so little girl.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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