You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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