I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
