I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You made out with two different species that night
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
