69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm always down for nudity.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
