JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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