OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
