Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize