i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
