the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
