That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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