Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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