Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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