and next time when you feel me up, do it right
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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