i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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