how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
