So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
