It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
pop tarts are not kleenex
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize