They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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