I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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