This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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