She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
