Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize