...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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