some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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