I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
