We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
