and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
