We're facebook friends in real life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
