a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
