i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
