So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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