My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
