I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
They have beer where we have blood.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
