Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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