If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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