Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
