we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
