I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
