Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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