why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
