OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The Olympian is in my bed
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