Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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