oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
