butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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